I think the world would be a better place if we could all take a moment and understand that our worldviews are shaped by our experience. I believe, that sharing those experiences, can help us to take a step back and say, “I understand why someone who has had XYZ happen in their life would believe the things that they believe.” I think if this conversation can happen respectfully, and if we can LISTEN to UNDERSTAND each other’s thoughts, instead of SPEAKING to CHANGE each other’s minds, we can get through this. Friends can stay friends, no one will throw the bowl of stuffing across the Thanksgiving table, and we can emerge a more unified people who respect each other’s differences.
I am the child of poor parents.
I grew up not knowing if when I went to turn the light on, if the electric bill had been paid.
I grew up listening to angry screaming, and fearing that my Mom, or we, could just keep quiet long enough to stay safe.
I grew up giving up my birthday money for groceries, giving up my fast food paycheck to pay bail.
I am a survivor of years of sexual abuse.
I have been, literally, “grabbed by the pussy” as early as elementary school.
I kept that a secret from everyone, until I finally told the one person who I thought would protect me, and because of the stigma that surrounds sexual assault, I was brushed off, ignored.
I never brought it up again, and I struggle daily with it.
I grew up thinking I was unloved, because I was not protected.
I grew up truly believing that no one cared about me, because I was not believed.
I grew up hurting myself.
I grew up being bullied. I was too poor, too quiet, too fat.
I was raised Baptist, but never went to church.
When I was 16 or 17 I read the Bible cover-to-cover, and decided it was a nice story, but I didn’t buy it.
I still don’t understand how any God to make this world so awful. How an all-powerful God can allow such terrible things to happen.
I didn’t tell anyone that I was unsure about God until college.
I never thought my family would accept or respect my beliefs. I was kinda right.
I had a mother, who could have been financially ruined in her last years, with words like, “pre-existing condition” and “lifetime limits.”
I have a brother who I fear may have a more difficult time finding a job, may be legally denied an apartment, or a loan, may never be able to raise children or get married.
I have a best friend who has opened her heart, and her home, to the possibility of welcoming a child, any child, and I fear for the ramifications that this glorification of hate speech may have on her family.
I fear that being open and honest about my own religious beliefs, or lack thereof, will ostracize me and demonize me and my family.
I am fearful that the lack of a place for uninsured and under insured women to receive cancer screenings, birth control, and wellness checks, not to mention sexual education, will have a profoundly negative impact on the health and well being of women in our country.
I fear that the lack of social programs will keep men, women and children in homes, and in situations like the one I was raised in. With no foreseeable way out.
I fear that the lack of social programs will keep the poor, uneducated people of this country, poor and uneducated.
I fear that the parts of our Constitution that are not convenient for our leaders, will be interpreted in a way that goes against everything our forefathers had hoped for our country.
I fear that leadership, past, present, and future, regardless of political party, will put fear in our hearts, and slowly strip us of our will to stand up for what is right, and use that fear to hinder our freedom.
I have repeatedly seen, over the last few days, people ensuring their friends and family that there is nothing to fear, that we need to stay positive.
While WE, the middle class, white populous, may have nothing to fear on a day-to-day basis, our neighbors, our siblings, our friends…. they have legitimate fears about their future, and those should not be dismissed, or hushed.
Please do not try to squander the fears of your neighbors, until you are able to fully understand the reasoning behind those fears.
Listen to understand their thoughts, instead of speaking to change their minds.
Not So Little Lady Katie 